The restaurant that was told to be 200m away was actually 1km away.
TiT (This is Thailand)
So we walked down the very noisy unlit jungle road to the seafront restaurant using a bike light as a torch. If we’d known how far it was, we’d have cycled but maybe that’s for tomorrow.
When we got there, the restaurant was a lanna house style place on stilts over the sea and it was completely empty except for us.
We picked a table out over the sea and got our menus – all in Thai again, but this time with very few pictures.
So I ordered Pad Thai, everywhere does Pad Thai, except this place; must be the only restaurant in Thailand that doesn’t do Pad Thai. I looked again at the menu but gawd knows why it was still as indecipherable as before. So I went for one of the other Thai staples – cow pat (Khao Phat) which is fried rice. The waitress then fired a series of options at me and the only one I understood was “yai” which means big. One big fried rice on its way.
Siubhan did likewise and ordered Tom Yam. We’re on safe ground. But then we ordered a couple from the pictures of fried shrimp and fish cakes. Ooh and a plain boiled rice (Khao) to go with the Tom Yum.
The waitress looked quizzical as she read back the order but I reassured her that everything was right, thinking that she feared she’d misunderstood.
Then the food started arriving and it started to dawn on us why she was quizzical. Each dish was a serving for 2, except for the Khao Phat which would easily have served 6
I managed to explain, mainly through gesticulating, that when we ordered “big” fried rice that we were used to getting something a quarter of that size. (Especially at that price, but I didn’t say that)
The one waitress that understood now explained to the others and we all had a good laugh.
Then we were left to eat the mountain of food. We were bloody hungry after today’s ride but we didn’t get anywhere near half of it.
I paid the bill and said that we’d be back tomorrow for less food. Again, much laughter.
But, because this was a restaurant aligned to a different resort and they knew that we weren’t from there, they were curious as to where we’d come from. At least I think that’s what I was being asked. When I said “Navara” there was a raising of eyebrows and when we went to walk off one of the girls said “cannot” and pointed to her moped that had a chicken cage welded to the side that sort of acted as a sidecar.
She gesticulated at it insistingly and Siubhan climbed in. Oh well, I followed. At the right turn, she slowed right down and sort of explained that she was far from convinced, with a couple of large Falang in the sidecar, that the sidecar wouldn’t go shooting off in a different direction.
The tuk-tuks up on 2 wheels round a corner in Chiang Mai held the previous honour of being the most hair-raising mode of transport but that has now been surpassed by sitting atop a chicken cage with no helmets loosely attached to a scooter of highly dubious mechanical integrity